Can we book our reservation via email? Can you just hold some seats for me?

No. You must Book Online and accept our terms/conditions. A credit card and email address is required. No credit card/no email… No sail! Only after the sail at the dock do we run the credit card on file or accept cash.

What is your cancellation policy?

48 hours. If within 48 hours, 100% of your booking price will be charged if we can’t fill your slots. If we cancel because of weather, no charge to you.

I looked at your online booking system and don’t see availability for the date I want. Should I still call or email you asking if its available?

No. The schedule posted is the schedule. In most cases, I won’t even respond to your email/phone message.

What is this “Marina 10% Fee” that’s added to the total price and the 3% Credit Card Processing fee?

Besides the many costs of doing business, little do people know that marinas charge a premium to a charter boat operator who leases a slip from them. They require 10% of our gross revenue to allow our guests to use the parking facility/restrooms, cover the extra insurance they’re required to have, and to maintain the dock system. Also, many people are paying solely with credit card these days and instead of raising our prices to cover the loss, we’ve decided to add it as a separate fee. Pay with cash at the conclusion of the sail and we’ll remove the fee and give you custom koozies for everyone in your party.

Capt Dan, I have severe Political Tourettes and can’t control my political outbursts along with potential racist or dicriminatory comments. Is this a problem?

Yes, it is a problem. Stay off my boat.

Capt Dan… when we arrived at the marina I asked the bartender, the waitress, a pirate, and a guy with a dog where you are and they don’t know you. Where are you, we can’t find you?

After viewing my website, getting a confirmation email, and then receiving a reminder email before your sail… all with directions exactly where to go… you still didn’t trust me and asked random people what to do. I’d just stay home if I was you. It’s too scary out here.

Can we wear boat shoes?

Only during extremely cold weather are boat shoes acceptable. I’ll email the day of if shoes are ok. Otherwise, we require bare feet. We don’t wear shoes in our home and we don’t wear shoes on our yacht. You won’t find a cleaner charter vessel in all of South Florida. (We’re neat freaks!) Lick the bottom of your shoes in front of me and I’ll allow them aboard.

What happens if we show up late on a non-private sail?

The boat may be gone. We can only wait 5 minutes extra. During busy season, plan on beach traffic both ways slowing you down by 60+ minutes. Arrive early but don’t arrive to the boat until your scheduled time. We sail multiple sails per day. If you don’t make it on time, you most likely will miss your departure as I must keep on schedule and you WILL be charged. Its your responsibility to show on time and traffic will not be an excuse. Involved in an accident or hospitalized? Police or doctor report required for refund. Time and tide wait for no man! We do not call asking where you are.

If we show up early to the boat do we get better seats?

No. Every seat is a good seat on our 6 passenger sailboat adventure. Please, don’t knock on the boat 30 minutes before the scheduled sail yelling “Capt Dan!!!”. We’ll ignore you on purpose. We board 5-10 minutes before scheduled departure.

Can we bring adult beverages on the boat?

Yes. Soft sided coolers only. Red wine or other staining beverages are NOT allowed. If your cooler is large with wheels and handlebars, its too big and NOT allowed. Your captain and first mate enjoy flavored seltzer water. Glass bottles are OK. Glass stemware (wine glasses) NOT OK. Drinking is encouraged, but sloppy drunk is not.

Can we bring food aboard?

Yes, but please… no items that are greasy, drippy, or saucy. Remember, this is a sailboat and there is wind. Light weight items (lids, plastic, paper) will want to fly out of your hands. Finger foods rule. Leave the refrigerator at home. We recommend beverages only. Please, we’d rather not handle your trash. Take on/Take off please.

We just checked out of our hotel and UBER’d here. Can I put all my luggage on your boat?

Absolutely…………….NOT!

What does it cost if I block the marine head (toilet) with something other then human waste or the paper provided?

If you flush a feminine product (or items other than human waste and the fast dissolving toilet paper provided) it will immediately block the toilet. Your reservation will be charged an additional $400 to buy the new macerator pump system and the labor costs involved. If other sails are scheduled for the day, you will also be responsible for the lost revenue. This is non negotiable. Also, Yacht etiquette says that while moored at the marina that you only use the head if it’s an emergency. Otherwise, please use the marina’s facilities located at the end of the dock until we get underway. Once underway, poop away!

What happens if I urinate everywhere in the restroom except in the toilet?

The first mate checks the restroom after each guest. If you have urinated on the floor, walls, or all over the toilet she will notify you in front of all the other guests and ask you to return below to clean it. If not, you’re reservation will be charged an additional $50 clean up fee. Don’t like this? Don’t sail with us. There are other sailboats that don’t mind having urine all over the boat.

Am I genius by referring to you as Captain Dan from Forrest Gump?

No. Every passenger says the same thing and everyone is wrong. It was Lieutenant Dan, not Captain Dan. Stick with your day job.

Can I bring my comfort animal?

No. Our vessel is not equipped to handle the needs of a non human aboard. A monkey bit me once during a sail

If the weather is bad at the time of our scheduled sail, what happens?

If it is raining or the winds are sustained over 25 mph, we will cancel the cruise and try to reschedule if possible. If during our cruise we have to come back early due to weather, we will prorate the charge. Please trust the Captain’s decision when it comes to weather or conditions. Safety of our guests and the vessel are top priority.

We have more than 6 people, can we still book your boat?

No. 6 Maximum as per Coast Guard regulations. Even if we had a 50′ vessel, still regulated to 6 passengers unless vessel is purposely built for commercial use and is issued a C.O.I. (Certificate of Inspection). Yes.. a small child or infant has a soul (most of the time) and counts as a person.

Capt Dan, isn’t my child the most amazing human being every created and unbelievably smart?

Hold up. If your child only communicates through screams and crying, the cuteness factor will wear off quickly as will your time on my vessel. Hint: Book the pirate cruise and let them deal with your little social misfit. They have swords and candy. Free range parents….. not cool. We love kids, but will not babysit during the sail. Also, common sense would say that bringing unruly children on a non private sunset sail would be rude to other guests as its more of an adult romantic/chill out sail.

Can we sit in your cabin below deck?

Sorry, below decks are your Captain and Mate’s private area. Access allowed to restroom (head) only. No, you may not lock your children below deck while you try to forget you brought them.

Capt Dan, why is the steering wheel so big?

No power steering and the rudder is the size of a door!!

We would like to go topless, can we book a private cruise?

Yes, if you book a private sail. We will however get a little farther offshore away from boating traffic. The captain is married and reserves the right to keep his sunglasses and clothes on. My first mate… that’s another story. 🙂

Do we see dolphins?

We see dolphins 90% of the time but cannot guarantee it. Barking like a dog or monkey sounds do attract dolphins.

Can we swim?

We don’t swim. My Insurance regulations don’t allow swimming. Plus, our tidal currents can get pretty strong and your Captain isn’t that good at head counts. Go to the beach.. less sharks there.

I’m an amazing sailor and know everything. Can I tell you how to do your job?

Yes you can. As I pull away from the dock… where you are still standing, let me know if the sail is trimmed properly.

My wife has motion sickness, will she get sick?

There is no way to possibly know this. However, a sailboat has a much smoother motion than a powerboat and most people find it very enjoyable. The lack of exhaust fumes from a running engine helps greatly. If in doubt, leave her home. Since 2009, currently the count is at 30 pukers. Common sense: Don’t eat a stack of pancakes before the cruise.

Capt Dan and Dianne, Can I show you all my pictures on my phone while you try to operate the boat and keep an eye on guests?

Although I’m sure your grandchildren and adventures mean a lot to you, distracting the Captain or the First Mate by asking them to look at 200 pictures on your phone is a bad idea. Self control required.

Capt Dan, Is it Ok to bring cremated remains aboard a Non-Private sail and ask everybody aboard to join us in a memorial service?

Really? Other guests aboard are there to enjoy their sail, not join you in your grief. You were supposed to call us and book a private sail.

Do you live aboard the boat?

No. We have a home 10 minutes away.

Capt Dan, after reading all your rules and info, you sound angry and not fun? Is this a prison ship?

If my common sense rules, humor, and sensibility sound strange to you… guess what? You may be the type that we would prefer to avoid aboard our vessel. LOL!